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At times, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “really delusional”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically coming after a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his conduct, leaving him especially susceptible to criticism from those around him. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms online – and was later confirmed by a specialist. However, he doubts he would have taken the label without having previously arrived at that conclusion personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they experience a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

While people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what is meant by the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, adding the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people keep it private, as there is widespread prejudice linked to the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through actions such as seeking admiration,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

While three-quarters of people found to have the condition are men, findings points out this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” says a young adult who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she explains, “because if I hear that the problem is me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Even with this response – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures as a child. It’s been a process of understanding over the years which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say in conflicts because I never had that as a kid,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Origins of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be associated with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” explains an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “highly empathetic of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he explains. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of online advocates and the expansion of online support communities point to {more narcissists|a growing number